Sunday, 31 October 2010


My parents have been away this week. It's given me a lot of time to myself (although I did spend a fair chunk of it out of the house). I have this feeling that something is missing. Something in me. It's not that 'something missing' from before, ie. Becky, it's something else. It's that little thing that makes me feel good about being me.
Now, today, I felt that little spark of 'living', if you will. I was up at the church at Whitby, dressed in my very first proper Cirquepunk outfit, playing with my Flowersticks. Since it's currently Goth Weekend, the place was full of photographers. Every so often, one would appear, ask me if they could take my photograph and whathaveyou. This had been going on all day, really, but just when I was walking around. Up at the church, though, while I was happily circusing just for the sheer fun of it, a whole herd of photographers started to circle me. My friends had counted them – I was in double figures with my photog-collecting. It was slightly unnerving, but at the same time, it felt amazing. All of these people watching me, wanting to capture my image for whatever reason.
I've been to Whitby Goth Weekend plenty of times, but nothing like this has ever happened before. I had people complimenting my outfit, my makeup, my hat and so on.

I think I'm starting to come out of my shell a bit. I think what sparked it was the summer. It was a massive confidence boost, I'll tell you that. After all that stuff about two years ago, with all the manipulation, fake-blame, lies and constant put-downs, having someone tell me I was, shall we say, crunchy seems to have lifted me out of my ongoing mental slump.

For example, I don't think I could have ever gone out to Whitby looking like I did. I'd be far too paranoid of those people in the street, the faceless masses, the collective 'they'.
I certainly wouldn't have danced around with my college friends at a Halloween party, gotten over-excited when the Time Warp came on, fell over, then cheered when the DJ made an announcement to everybody else that the floor was a bit slippy.
Hell, it's a well-known fact that I don't dance.

But, I digress. I felt the spark of 'living'.
And I want more.

ps. On another note, Here's my newest vlog.

Monday, 18 October 2010

The Birthday Massacre

I love The Birthday Massacre.
I loved them before, but now that I've seen them live....
Wow. Just wow.

That photo of Chibi there - A few times, she reached her hand towards me like that, only to slap my hand when I put mine forwards.
I cried during Always. After that, she saw me while I was drying my eyes. I looked at her, she looked at me and we laughed.

She just looked to cheerful through the whole gig. And she's so damn cute!

Next time they tour the UK - ROAD TRIP!

One gig was certainly not enough.

Sunday, 10 October 2010

Great Knife

  • Make one crappy Great Knife
  • Get fed up of crappy Great Knife
  • Turn crappy Great Knife into character sword
  • Forget about character sword
  • Turn character sword into a half-decent Great Knife
  • ????
  • Profit

Pyramid Head

To do list:

Add dirt
Add more dirt

Fix up the old one

Great Knife
Butcher Kenny's sword back into the Great Knife

Shoulder thing

Nearly there now!
Saturday, 9 October 2010

"I'm so angry, my kidneys hurt!"

Oh, what a fortnight I've had. I've not been so emotionally up and down in... what?.... a year and a half?
Bad times.

I think I've done everything now, though, so I think I'm finished.
Shock, denial, sadness, misery, happy, excited, murderous, self-hating, disapproval, grumpy, fear, rage, nervousness, suffering, regret, optimism, cheerfulness, "scary mad"....

Yes, that's enough.

Time to get back to my plans:

  • Be more awesome than anyone ever thought possible (so I can go 'HA!' at them)
  • Get all super-powered
  • Do lots and lots of work for college
  • Practice more circus stuff
  • Properly form the Midnight Eccentriks
  • Enjoy life
They're manageable, right?
Tuesday, 5 October 2010

Jekyll and Hyde

Here I am, blogging from my brand new and shiny MacBook.
I decided to name it Hyde because, when pratting about with the bluetooth on it and my phone, I was bloody amused by the possibility of 'Hyde' pairing with 'Jekyll'. I've had Jekyll as a bluetooth name for ages, so...
And I used it at college for actual work. I took notes with it instead of writing in my notebook, intending to type up the notes and then for getting about them.

But enough about my MacBook.

I have almost succeeded in spreading the plague to a friend of mine from college. On the way in this/yesterday morning, I subjected her to Best Safety Lies in Fear, 4 O'Clock, Misery Loves Company and Let the Record Show (proceeded with, of course, Everything Stops For Tea).
As well as this, after 3 gig videos, she's almost a Pyrate.
Man, I'm good...
What were the videos?
Maggots singing Spongebob (she played Spongebob on her phone so I retaliated)
Maggots hooping to DITNA
Veronica fan-dancing to Dominant

After seeing Maggots and fire, she went 'pfft...' at VeVa.
And this girl is a big burlesque fan.

Next, I'll have to shove Geryl and the Great Homunculus into her car stereo.
Sunday, 3 October 2010

Jump The Gun

I haven't really accomplished much today. I haven't touched my college work, I've not done anything with my Pyramid Head costume or anything that even resembled effort.

I have, however, been social. I met up with Audun to go to the cinema, which was brill since I've not seen him in what seems like ages. After that, we went to Doc Browns to see my friend's dad's band Jump The Gun. That too was good because I got to see Jenny again. I've not seen her in such a long time and nobody, and I mean nobody, can bring a smile to my face like she does. She has some magical powers, that girl...
Friday, 1 October 2010

Purple on my brain

I bought a Macbook today. After at least 3 years of drooling over them, I gave in. I admit, I did hate the curvy look of the new Macbooks, but when I went down to PC World today, I just fell in love with it. Sod the curves. It's still a Macbook. I'm £910 down with the added 'Wolfey is stupid and will break her new plaything' cover, but, hell, it's worth it.

The first thing I'm doing when I fetch my currently un-named lovely will be to transfer my music over. If you have iTunes and an iPod, it's only sensible to run them from your Mac. Speaking of iTunes...

That's my Top 25. My computer recently got reformatted and... well... The Birthday Massacre are practically all I've listened to (with a wee bit of Ayria thrown in for good measure, of course.).

I bet you couldn't guess that I'm seeing TBM in 16 days...

In other news, I'm back for my second (or third, if you count Foundation) year at CCAD. Back to costume and prop making I go!
Got a couple of nice looking projects this time - Design and make (but only make the whole thing if you want to) a Chinese Opera style costume based off a myth/legend and design/make a character for a children's television programme. I just know that second one will be fuelled by my injokes and doodles. And the first one? Well, that's just obvious.

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