Friday, 24 December 2010

Last Night of Calm?

I've dragged my Mac downstairs, typing away as I watch the new episodes of Peep Show that I somehow missed he first time around.
It occurs to me that this is going to be my last 'calm' night for a short while. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, meaning that my mum is going to be running around all day making various desserts and other tasty things (which I won't be able to eat until Saturday, bah!), my dad will be trying to be helpful and I'll be wandering around, generally getting in the way and putting purple chemicals on my head. Such fun.

Then there's Christmas Day, and once you think that there'll be an extra 7 people in the house, it kind of speaks for itself.

Boxing day, the all come back again to continue to be social and eat leftovers. Oh, tasty leftovers! I like Christmas leftovers so much more than 'Christmas Food'. I mean, when else can you viably make a sandwich with two kinds of stuffing or use butter as a dip?

The day after that, I'll be running around like a mad thing, getting stuff together for New Years.

The day after that, I'll be bus-ing it up to Edinburgh, meeting up with Phoe and bumming around the airport.

After that? With any luck, I'll be in Sweden.
I have no idea what it's going to be like for that week over in Swedenland, but I'm sure I'm not going to have a night where I'll be sat cross-legged with a Mac on my lap, watching a short marathon of a selection of comedy programmes.

And oh, how completely, non-sarcastically glad I am!
Thursday, 23 December 2010

Survival Horror

Me being Pyramid Head. Please excuse my
rather crap pyramid. Next year's version
will be epic. Oh yes...
Yesterday, finding myself with little to do, I switched on my XBox and started playing Silent Hill: Homecoming. I got this game in Asda a while back, wanting to have my own copy of the game. I had played it at a friend's house previously, but I never got to finish it.
It's a bit bad, really, that I had the game for so long without playing it. I often say that Silent Hill is my favourite game series, you see. Though, that statement is a bit bad in itself.
Yes, I love Silent Hill and yes, I own all of the games, even a 'black label' version of the original, but I have only completed SH1 and Origins. I've played quite far though SH2, but never finished it. I've played a fair way into Shattered Memories, but I stopped when the summer happened and never managed to finish it. SH3 and 4 have never even been taken out of their boxes.
I love this series enough to cosplay as Pyramid Head at Halloween, but no enough, it seems, to play the games.
Terrible, really, isn't it?

I say I love survival horror games, which is also true, but again, I hardly play them. There's the afore-mentioned Silent Hill, but then I've also got Resident Evil, RE: Code Veronica X and RE4, all sitting along side Alone In The Dark and Alone In The Dark: The New Nightmare. Again, none of these have seen the light of day (except RE, but I kept getting killed by the first and/or second monster I came across and, consequently, got fed up. That and I couldn't figure out the controls.) I've played a few of those games, like my sister's boyfriend's copy of RE4 on the Wii, but never my own copies.

And then there's Haunting Ground.
Haunting Ground was amazing, but I stopped playing it.
"Why?", you may ask.
Because I was playing it one night in the dark. My parents were out, meaning I was the only person in the house.
I can't remember what it was, exactly, but something in that game scared the hell out of me. Maybe it was all the tension and atmospheric fear building up and it all got too much, but that last time that Debilitas caught up to me and the screen blacked out, leaving only the sound of my character's bones crunching, I couldn't play anymore. I immediately turned off my Playstation, unplugged it and ran upstairs to my room, turning all of the lights on as I went.

Any other game I've played, may it be Silent Hill, Resident Evil, F.E.A.R, or any game with some kind of zombie-like creatures in it, I could quite happily pop them in the appropriate console and play them to my heart's content.
But Haunting Ground?
There's no way that's even coming out of the box unless I have someone sitting next to me that I can hide behind when Debilitas comes to find me.
Friday, 17 December 2010

Wolfey and Ridiculousness

I am a juiceaholic.
I am addicted to juiceahol.
Oh my, what a fun day I've had.

Yes, it did start with me waking up at a ridiculous time for me, ie. 6am, but that resulted in me having a whole bottle of juice.

It also meant that I was awake enough to read the text from my sister, which promised free lunch if I met her in town for a mooch around the shops.
There was much mooching indeed. 80% of the time was her looking at clothes for either herself or her boyfriend (who is, apparently, completely incapable of buying clothes, and if left to his own devices would "probably come home in furs or be running around outside naked with a club").

OMG, tea!
My reward for putting up with all of this uninteresting shopping was £15 to go and spend in one of Middlesbrough's wonderful little shops - the Pop Up Studio.
The council has this thing going - 'We Are Open' - In which they let out empty shops to crafty-folk for short periods of time. At the moment, one of the units has jewellery and sock creatures. Yes. Sock creatures. And they're fantastic.
The two of us got three little sock-dudes - Pumpkin, Rhino and Muffin, the second and third of which will be coming with me to Sweden.

(Just searched on google - the girl who made them goes to my college. I think. Woah. Actually, I think I met her that time I was being ridiculous and hiding behind a table from Caroline's possible words to someone else.)

Following that, there was a little bit more shopping for clothes, and then was that free lunch I'd been promised. We talked about going to Oodles for some noodles as we'd somehow never been, but instead ended up in a wonderful little tea house.
I didn't even know Middlesbrough had a tea house, never mind a tea house with "over 60 World Teas" and home-made cake.
We got a seemingly endless pot of Autumn Tea (which actually did taste like Autumn - like trees and leaves and things), and I got myself thoroughly covered in stickiness from a couple of crumpets with honey.
Om nom.

Now, that doesn't sound like there was nearly enough ridiculousness in my day to warrant that word being used in my title.
And no, there wasn't really.
But another apparently ridiculous thing, disapprovingly ridiculous, even, is keeping me quite happy.
To my disapprovers - Up yours! I don't care about your disapprovingness. 

Wednesday, 8 December 2010

Charlotte Lusk and the unfortunate incident of being thought up by me

Pratting about on Facebook, I came across a draft-note.
Luke, my friend and fellow circus freak had asked me to send it to him after he'd asked me about one of my characters.
This is the best I can do, writing wise. Makes me sad.

The chains clinked together as I was dragged forwards, both those restraining my hands and the one connected to a collar that was placed around my neck. My neck, of all things. Surely these people knew the apparent reason as to why they were taking me away or, at least, they had seen the bruising around my neck. Not only did it hurt to be dragged along in a manner which resembled far too closely my supposed crime, but I felt degraded to the level of an animal. Was it necessary for me to be tied in chains? Did they fear that I would escape and, god forbid, try to hang myself again? Did they think that, given half the chance, I would turn on them and attack like some rabid dog? They think too much of themselves. I wasn’t going to waste my strength on them. There was only one thing on my mind. Revenge.
I was violently jerked forwards and tripped. Small, sharp stones cut into my knees. I struggled to right myself as it turns out exceedingly difficult to push oneself back to one’s feet with wrists that could move no less than a few inches apart and even less so from your waist. My neck-chain was tugged sharply, pulling my head up out of the dirt. An angry face glared down at me.
“Get up, Wolfe.” He said, his voice filled with disgust.
My eyes widened. Wolfe? What lies had she told these people? I dared not ask, but from that one word, I knew she had made up her own story, giving me the name from mine. I could not help but cry and my tears stung the gashes upon my left cheek as I forced myself to my feet. I would not give these people and, since this was all her doing, Elisa, the satisfaction of letting them believe I was weak. I was not going to suffer for their enjoyment.

I hate that I can create characters and have them live their lives seamlessly inside my head, but I cannot for the life of me get it down in words.

Friday, 3 December 2010


I just realised something.

At 'The Day The Gypsies Came' at college, I made a little person out of string and ended up selling him to Sarah for 10p.

19. Sell something I've made

Yes, it counts.
Thursday, 2 December 2010

Popcorn? Sod the popcorn!

I have quite a few films I want to see before the end of the year. Some I have recorded on the V+ box downstairs (they need to be watched, most have been there for months), some will be at the cinema, some I just have and need to watch.

  1. Splice 
  2. The Runaways 
  3. White Noise 
  4. The Exorcist
  5. Death Note
  6. Death Note: The Last Name
  7. Borat
  8. Battle Royale II
  9. Diary of the Dead
  10. Gothika
  11. The Descent
  12. This is Spinal Tap
  13. The Blair Witch Project 
  14. Saw III
  15. Grave of the Fireflies
  16. Beetlejuice
  17. The Omen
  18. 300 
  19. Paprika
  20. Megamind
  21. Monsters
  22. Unstoppable
  23. London Boulevard 

I can manage it, right?
Monday, 29 November 2010


Everybody seems to be going crazy about the weather at the moment, so here's my little piece on it.

Crazy-ass icicle
It's all snowy.
Also, it hails occasionally.
Right now, it's a bit windy.

Earlier, I shovelled the ice and snow from our drive with my dad so he can get his car out tomorrow. Looking out the window now, the de-snowed part seems like it's all slippery from the weather that happened between earlier and this particular moment in time.

College was closed today, which was damn good 'cause it meant that I didn't have to think up a reason to skive.
However, the trip to London has been cancelled. No WestEndVenture! for me this year....
Saturday, 27 November 2010


The ever lovely Jester of Misfortune
This is the bit where you all realise that I'm a freak.


I have dreams/daydreams about alternate versions of myself, from different dimensions or something There are only 5, but to me, it feels like there are lots, as one of them kept getting killed and reborn.

1. The Jester of Misfortune
I don't really know too much about this one. The Jester is from a dark, dark world that looks like it was made by Tim Burton. She brings misfortune not only to others, but herself too. My jester outfit from the EA gigs back in March is based off of this one.  Of course, that was the Jester with a bit of Victoriandustrial thrown in. The actual Jester wouldn't wear a corset (except maybe when she wanted to look particularly 'formal'). You just can't jest around the place while wearing a corset.

2. Sky Pirate Antella
Just because everybody needs a steampunk alter-ego, probably.

3. Unnamed Gargoyle Girl
Basically, a gargoyle who got magicked into being alive, losing most of the gargoyle-like appearance in the process. Possibly the Jester, who had the misfortune of getting turned into a stone creature at the top of some building. I'm not sure. They seem somewhat similar, only this one seems to be a bit more sinister and lacking in most emotions (but then, I'm sure you would after being turned into a gargoyle). Also, she has crazy acrobatic/climbing skills and could rip you apart in seconds.
Unnamed Gargoyle Girl didn't last long, however, as she was, against her will, merged with...

4. Araellus
Now, Araellus is a tricky one.
Arae is some kind of high-ranking battle mage from the Army of Chaos which was, at some point, taken over by the dark witch Magravine, who probably used her freaky mind-control powers to get it on her side.
Magravine and her minions were at war with Xarxes, who was the guy who was in charge of 'Light'. He was crazy powerful and had his own army of followers and his elite fighters known as The Guard. The legions of Order sided with Xarxes, just to balance things out, I imagine.
The two opposing sides, Light/Order and Dark/Chaos, would clash and have epic battles in which poor little Arae would end up getting killed trying to protect her mistress.
This is where is gets a bit tricky.
Araellus has had, so far, has had quite a few lives (I cannot remember how many, the exact number escapes me at the moment. 14, maybe?), but I'm not fully aware of all of them.
The first life of Araellus wasn't sided with anyone, just Chaos. Xarxes tried to get her on his side after telling her about her alignment with Chaos, but she told him to sod off and got stabbed to bits by the Guard ('cause she'd be a threat otherwise).
The second life got approached by Magravine, who got her to join the side of the Dark using her freaky mind control powers.
The fourth life was a man for some reason, perhaps because the third committed suicide. I forget.
The seventh had a fling with Morgan le Fae, which carried over to the eighth and ninth.
The ninth is the one I'm most aware of (apart from the epic battle of the last one). This one was probably the most powerful, rising to be the head of the Army of Chaos and Magravine's second in command. This is also the one that got merged with Unnamed Gargoyle Girl. At some point, she got sent on a mission to somewhere snowy (the place now called Alaska, I've been told), and got hunted down for what seemed like months (When it's dark and snowy and I'm on my own, I have images of standing on my own, my blood dripping into the snow. Consequently, I have issues with snow). This one died because she got turned into stone just before she would have struck down Xarxes with a fatal blow.
The last one (I forget the number), traded in her knowledge to a demon called Azaris to get a super-powered sword in a last-ditch attempt to kill that Xarxes fellow. needless to say, it didn't exactly work. Arae got killed yet again, but she took out most of the Guard (and a fair chunk of the underlings) before she went. I'm pretty sure that Azaris was a sneaky bastard and took knowledge from everyone, rather than just Araellus.

That brings us to me, being the **th life of this chaos battle mage, having no power whatsoever because a demon took away my knowledge of how to do anything.
'Xarxes' is one of my good friends. 'Magravine' is my ex, who turned out to be an evil, manipulative bitch (see how that fits just perfectly?). I imagine that there is a head of the Legions of Order, but I have no idea who that is.

5. Charlotte Lusk
This is the last one. A girl who got sent to an asylum for befriending the wrong person (a woman by the name of Elisa Emerson), who decided to try and have her way with the poor thing. When Charlotte refused and rejected her, Elisa had her sent away in fear that she would ruin her reputation.
Charlotte may or may not be a bit mad, however, as she strongly believed that the other 4 alts were actually her past lives.
Saturday, 20 November 2010


Ok, that's a photo from last week, but I didn't
take any this time.
Last night, I was at Sumo.
No, there were not large Japanese men pushing each other around.
To quote Facebook:

* Middlesbrough Empire.
* Every Friday.

5 Rooms!


So, there you go.
Last night was Jagerfest. Various Jager + mixer concoctions including Jager and Fanta (ooh, fruity!) and Jager and Tonic (this is what I drank across the Christmas holiday last year, omnomnom.).

Me and Stacey danced around like drunken fools. It was fun as we weren't properly drunk. Just enough alcohol to not be self-concious. However...
a) It's a well-known fact that I don't dance. At all. Or, at least I didn't dance until October 28th, so I have very little dancing skill.
b) Stacey likes to use me to make her girl-ex jealous. But, you know, whatever. It's fun.
c) Our 'dirty dancing', as Stacey dubs it, attracts creeper men. The kind that try to get you to make out in front of them. And then hit on you. Fucking creepers....
    c.i) However, it makes some people go away. Outside Empire, some guy came up to us, eyeing up Stacey and saying that his friend liked me. Without even blinking, Stacey replied with a simple "We're lesbians." He said we didn't look like lesbians, to which I got pulled into a smooch in reply. That seemed to satisfy him that he wasn't going to get anywhere, and the pair of them buggered off.

I kept attracting men last night. I suppose it's what most girls would want, but... You know...
There were the creeper guys, the creepy-looking guys, those two from outside and this other guy outside who grabbed my stomach as he walked past, saying "Had a good night, gorgeous?"

I think I need shorter hair.
Or bigger boots.

Saturday, 13 November 2010

The List

It occurred to me that the only place I have my 'Things to do before I'm 30' list was over on my defunct Tumblr.
  1. Get a degree in Entertainment Design Crafts
  2. Join the circus / Form my own troupe
  3. Follow a band/musician around the country
  4. Go to a music festival
  5. Visit America
  6. Go on a road trip
  7. See Insects vs. Robots 
  8. Become well known for something
  9. Perform on stage
  10. Have an unusual pet
  11. Travel the world
  12. Go to Burning Man
  13. See 50 films at the cinema in a year
  14. Be in a photoshoot
  15. Be an extra in something
  16. Get a job
  17. Move out of parents house
  18. Be in a Nerf War
  19. Sell something I’ve made
  20. Climb a mountain

I've changed #2 slightly to include 'Form my own troupe' as an alternative because it seems like it'd be bloody hard to actually get into a circus, and I've changed #18 from "Finish Final Fantasy X" because I really only put that there as a joke because I couldn't think of anything else.


Dear Blog,
Did you know that the universe hates me?
You didn't?

I bet you did and you're just lying.

Or maybe it's that I hate the universe and I'm just blaming it for other people being stupid.

Care to tell me which it is?

Friday, 12 November 2010

I checked my calendar.

Me, looking nice and short next to the one other
person who turned up to the WGW meet.
Wolfeyland seems most.... Well, 'typical' at the moment.

- Tutors are telling me that I have loads of talent, but I'm not doing nearly enough work.
- I spent a fair bit of time spazzing over somebody, but not having the guts to say anything to them.
- I spent the afternoon hitting a pair of boots with a hammer.
- I searched through god knows how many photos from Goth Weekend trying to find some of me. Shockingly enough, this time, some actually showed up.

Yes, the third one on there is something that happens fairy often.
Speaking of those boots, I quite fancy drawing/painting something on them. I don't really need two pairs of plain black DMs.

Anyway, I'm just blogging because I feel like I've not blogged in a while. Nothing much has occurred, really.
Except that Edgar is sick. Maybe. I'm not sure.
For those of you who don't know, Lord Edgar is my pet rat. I've had him for two and a half years now and, well... He's showing his age. Yesterday, he lost the use of his back legs. He was just dragging himself around his cage with his front feet, flopping down every so often when it got too much for him. He's looking better today - he's been walking normally again, but he's still pretty wobbly. In fact, at the moment, he's flopped down on the floor again.
I'm worried. I don't want to lose him.
Not counting any fish I have had (Oh, Howard! you little fishy murderer!), Edgar has been my first pet. I've not had to go through anything like this before...


Sunday, 31 October 2010


My parents have been away this week. It's given me a lot of time to myself (although I did spend a fair chunk of it out of the house). I have this feeling that something is missing. Something in me. It's not that 'something missing' from before, ie. Becky, it's something else. It's that little thing that makes me feel good about being me.
Now, today, I felt that little spark of 'living', if you will. I was up at the church at Whitby, dressed in my very first proper Cirquepunk outfit, playing with my Flowersticks. Since it's currently Goth Weekend, the place was full of photographers. Every so often, one would appear, ask me if they could take my photograph and whathaveyou. This had been going on all day, really, but just when I was walking around. Up at the church, though, while I was happily circusing just for the sheer fun of it, a whole herd of photographers started to circle me. My friends had counted them – I was in double figures with my photog-collecting. It was slightly unnerving, but at the same time, it felt amazing. All of these people watching me, wanting to capture my image for whatever reason.
I've been to Whitby Goth Weekend plenty of times, but nothing like this has ever happened before. I had people complimenting my outfit, my makeup, my hat and so on.

I think I'm starting to come out of my shell a bit. I think what sparked it was the summer. It was a massive confidence boost, I'll tell you that. After all that stuff about two years ago, with all the manipulation, fake-blame, lies and constant put-downs, having someone tell me I was, shall we say, crunchy seems to have lifted me out of my ongoing mental slump.

For example, I don't think I could have ever gone out to Whitby looking like I did. I'd be far too paranoid of those people in the street, the faceless masses, the collective 'they'.
I certainly wouldn't have danced around with my college friends at a Halloween party, gotten over-excited when the Time Warp came on, fell over, then cheered when the DJ made an announcement to everybody else that the floor was a bit slippy.
Hell, it's a well-known fact that I don't dance.

But, I digress. I felt the spark of 'living'.
And I want more.

ps. On another note, Here's my newest vlog.

Monday, 18 October 2010

The Birthday Massacre

I love The Birthday Massacre.
I loved them before, but now that I've seen them live....
Wow. Just wow.

That photo of Chibi there - A few times, she reached her hand towards me like that, only to slap my hand when I put mine forwards.
I cried during Always. After that, she saw me while I was drying my eyes. I looked at her, she looked at me and we laughed.

She just looked to cheerful through the whole gig. And she's so damn cute!

Next time they tour the UK - ROAD TRIP!

One gig was certainly not enough.

Sunday, 10 October 2010

Great Knife

  • Make one crappy Great Knife
  • Get fed up of crappy Great Knife
  • Turn crappy Great Knife into character sword
  • Forget about character sword
  • Turn character sword into a half-decent Great Knife
  • ????
  • Profit

Pyramid Head

To do list:

Add dirt
Add more dirt

Fix up the old one

Great Knife
Butcher Kenny's sword back into the Great Knife

Shoulder thing

Nearly there now!
Saturday, 9 October 2010

"I'm so angry, my kidneys hurt!"

Oh, what a fortnight I've had. I've not been so emotionally up and down in... what?.... a year and a half?
Bad times.

I think I've done everything now, though, so I think I'm finished.
Shock, denial, sadness, misery, happy, excited, murderous, self-hating, disapproval, grumpy, fear, rage, nervousness, suffering, regret, optimism, cheerfulness, "scary mad"....

Yes, that's enough.

Time to get back to my plans:

  • Be more awesome than anyone ever thought possible (so I can go 'HA!' at them)
  • Get all super-powered
  • Do lots and lots of work for college
  • Practice more circus stuff
  • Properly form the Midnight Eccentriks
  • Enjoy life
They're manageable, right?
Tuesday, 5 October 2010

Jekyll and Hyde

Here I am, blogging from my brand new and shiny MacBook.
I decided to name it Hyde because, when pratting about with the bluetooth on it and my phone, I was bloody amused by the possibility of 'Hyde' pairing with 'Jekyll'. I've had Jekyll as a bluetooth name for ages, so...
And I used it at college for actual work. I took notes with it instead of writing in my notebook, intending to type up the notes and then for getting about them.

But enough about my MacBook.

I have almost succeeded in spreading the plague to a friend of mine from college. On the way in this/yesterday morning, I subjected her to Best Safety Lies in Fear, 4 O'Clock, Misery Loves Company and Let the Record Show (proceeded with, of course, Everything Stops For Tea).
As well as this, after 3 gig videos, she's almost a Pyrate.
Man, I'm good...
What were the videos?
Maggots singing Spongebob (she played Spongebob on her phone so I retaliated)
Maggots hooping to DITNA
Veronica fan-dancing to Dominant

After seeing Maggots and fire, she went 'pfft...' at VeVa.
And this girl is a big burlesque fan.

Next, I'll have to shove Geryl and the Great Homunculus into her car stereo.
Sunday, 3 October 2010

Jump The Gun

I haven't really accomplished much today. I haven't touched my college work, I've not done anything with my Pyramid Head costume or anything that even resembled effort.

I have, however, been social. I met up with Audun to go to the cinema, which was brill since I've not seen him in what seems like ages. After that, we went to Doc Browns to see my friend's dad's band Jump The Gun. That too was good because I got to see Jenny again. I've not seen her in such a long time and nobody, and I mean nobody, can bring a smile to my face like she does. She has some magical powers, that girl...
Friday, 1 October 2010

Purple on my brain

I bought a Macbook today. After at least 3 years of drooling over them, I gave in. I admit, I did hate the curvy look of the new Macbooks, but when I went down to PC World today, I just fell in love with it. Sod the curves. It's still a Macbook. I'm £910 down with the added 'Wolfey is stupid and will break her new plaything' cover, but, hell, it's worth it.

The first thing I'm doing when I fetch my currently un-named lovely will be to transfer my music over. If you have iTunes and an iPod, it's only sensible to run them from your Mac. Speaking of iTunes...

That's my Top 25. My computer recently got reformatted and... well... The Birthday Massacre are practically all I've listened to (with a wee bit of Ayria thrown in for good measure, of course.).

I bet you couldn't guess that I'm seeing TBM in 16 days...

In other news, I'm back for my second (or third, if you count Foundation) year at CCAD. Back to costume and prop making I go!
Got a couple of nice looking projects this time - Design and make (but only make the whole thing if you want to) a Chinese Opera style costume based off a myth/legend and design/make a character for a children's television programme. I just know that second one will be fuelled by my injokes and doodles. And the first one? Well, that's just obvious.

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